Okay, I got a request to do a blog on the second twighlight movie, so I suffered through Twilight New Moon. I'll try to avoid repeating myself, from my first Twilight blog. Here it goes -
Firstly, Edward dumps Bella leaving her a hopeless mess curled up in fetal position until she finds another man she can devote herself to. The new savior is Jacob the werewolf and Bella's attraction to Jacob is similar to her attraction to Edward. Bella gets hot for Jacob because he's macho and dangerous too. If only he'd killed a few innocent people so that he could torturously agonize about it, he'd be perfect. Here are some of Jacob's most charming comments:
'What a marshmallow! You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.'
Yep, the ability to laugh at chunderous gore sounds like an incredibly useful skill. You never know when you're gonna find gruesomely murdered corpses all over the house and need to be able to laugh it off!
'You saw what happened to Emily. Sam got angry. Lost it for a split second... Em was standing too close. What if I got mad at you?'
What if I got mad at you? Isn't the danger SO HOT? Meow! This is a completely healthy relationship...Not.
'Alright, I've gotta go. I've got a vampire to kill.'
And you can think about me killing it while you masturbate. Aren't I so bad-ass?
To sum Jacob up, Jacob is just like Edward except he's tanned, muscular, flexing and shirtless. If you watched the first twilight movie and thought that the only thing wrong with it was that Edward wasn't tanned, muscular, flexing and shirtless, then Twilight New Moon is movie for you!
Watching this has also reminded me of something else which bothered me about the first twilight movie though I didn't completely realize it at the time. These movies unnecessarily highlight the differences between Bella being a human the vampires and werewolves being vampires and werewolves. I realize now that the scene in the first twilight movie where Edward's family repeatedly insinuates that they might eat her wasn't just annoying because it wasn't believable. It was also annoying because there was this narrow-minded view pushed by the vampires themselves that says vampires should NEVER be given a chance to interact with humans. It doesn't even matter what the vampire is actually doing. Don't trust vampires ever. And when Bella doesn't stick this narrow-minded rule, everyone get's way, way too confused by her behavior.
In twilight, new moon there's a scene where a secret society of vampires wants kill Bella for knowing too much and Edward tries to save her, but is going to be murdered himself for standing in their way. Bella intervenes and says 'Kill me! Kill me! Not him!' The vampire, Aro responds by saying 'extraordinary, you would give up your life for someone like us. A vampire. A soulless monster.'
Wow. How many things were wrong with that statement? Firstly, she's not really sacrificing anything. They were going to kill HER anyway. All she did was stand up and say 'please don't kill Edward too. It's not necessary.' THAT'S extraordinary? What did you THINK she was going to do? Did you think she would rationalize her decision like this? - 'Well... Edward and I have a romantic history... But on the other hand, I'm a human and he's a vampire. So therefore - FUCK HIM! I say LET HIM DIE!' It's GOOD that she didn't do that, but it's not extraordinary at all! Calm down. You're getting WAY too impressed.
Then there's the fact that he calls Edward a 'soulless monster'. As I said in my first anti-twilight rant, Edward IS NOT A MONSTER IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY. Not ugly. Not a mass murderer. Shut up with 'monster' comments! And 'soulless' is an equally meaningless platitude! Nobody has proved that souls exist or what they'd do if they did exist even in this stupid movie! Why should she care, you dumbarse!?
Although the vampire that made this comment is a scary, somewhat villainous figure, I don't think he said it because he's villainous, I think he said it because the whole entire twilight universe has a massively divisive mentality which is just accepted as normal. When Bella visits Jacob's family they act just like Edward's family did by making comments implying she should be scared of them. 'We're faster (than vampires) Freaked out yet?' And Edward's sister dismissively calls Jacob a 'mutt' like he's a piece of poop under her nose. She says she'll come back inside the house 'as soon as you (Bella) put the dog (Jacob) out.'
Basically, I get the impression that the story was written by someone who thinks that the concept of a human fraternizing with vampires and werewolves, even if those vampires and werewolves have a spotless record is mind-bendingly confusing. It's not. It's perfectly simple. She didn't think they were too dangerous so she didn't steer clear, despite their scary labels of 'vampire' and 'werewolf.'
Bella's not super impressive for being open-minded enough spend time with vampires and werewolves who seem well intentioned. Everyone else is just remarkably unimpressive.
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